Assholes have been around since the dawn of time itself, from the first caveman who killed for shits and giggles to the first ever bloke to be called "CUNT!" in public. Contrary to popular belief we are not hipsters. We are nihilistic hippies, disillusioned idealists, curmudgeons, misanthropes, artists, musicians, writers, poets, cunts, fuck-buddies, drunks, tea-heads, junkies, music snobs, elitists, internet trolls, bored, happy, rich, poor, primal, primitive, impulsive, lewd, hate personified, flowers of the same fucking feather flocking together... we are assholes.

  1. THINGS I HATE NUMERO UNO: FAUX HIPPIES Those bright and shiny “Hacky Sack”-playing balls of positivity. Yeah dude. Keep on singing about peace and love and all that bullshit. I don’t care. It WAS cool in the 60’s (WAS is the keyword here) when you guys actually believed in something, and you almost had a chance to change everything back then. But it’s been decades now and how far have we gotten since Woodstock? Nowhere! War is still a big problem, capitalism, pollution. Frankly, things just got worse. Now, “Peace” and “Love” are nothing but fashion statements, empty words for empty heads. You blame Vietnam, I blame the bad acid. Now go play with your Hacky Sack and listen to those Grateful Dead LPs you got from your dad, while those kid soldiers in Darfur shoot the hell out of each other.

    THINGS I HATE NUMERO UNO: FAUX HIPPIES

    Those bright and shiny “Hacky Sack”-playing balls of positivity. Yeah dude. Keep on singing about peace and love and all that bullshit. I don’t care. It WAS cool in the 60’s (WAS is the keyword here) when you guys actually believed in something, and you almost had a chance to change everything back then. But it’s been decades now and how far have we gotten since Woodstock? Nowhere! War is still a big problem, capitalism, pollution. Frankly, things just got worse.

    Now, “Peace” and “Love” are nothing but fashion statements, empty words for empty heads.

    You blame Vietnam, I blame the bad acid.

    Now go play with your Hacky Sack and listen to those Grateful Dead LPs you got from your dad, while those kid soldiers in Darfur shoot the hell out of each other.

    01:45 18th Mar 2010